Year In Round-Up By JB – January – March


In The News This Year,

What a year it’s been, huh gang? 2010 was a tumultous time for mixed martial arts for many reasons; greats fell, torches were passed and the scope of MMA was both widened and… not… widened, anti-widened – forget it.

Anyway let’s start off this little round up in exciting fashion with the greatest will they/won’t they of all time: Fedor Emelianenko and the UFC. Yeah back in January of this year there were serious rumors of Fedor finally deciding to stop fighting jobbers in squash-matches (Oh we’ll be returning to that one before this is over, don’t worry) and move up to the big leagues.
You see MMA is very much like World of Warcraft (I know, Anarchy Online is way more fun but no one but you play it. Now pay attention) in that you can theoretically spend all your time in the starting forest killing boars, endlessly grinding towards that level of ultimate badass, but it would be quicker and frankly more exciting if you did it fighting giants (Brock Lesnar), ghouls (Stefan Struve) and blobs (Roy Nelson).

In the end the hype was as usual unfounded, as Zuffa wouldn’t budge and crazy Russians were crazy, so instead of the giants in the distance Fedor would have to battle his way toward a human guillotine who smelled slightly of horse. Ah, I’m sure nothing could go wrong on the safe route (FORESHADOWING!).

Remember Jamie Varner? 2010 hasn’t been kind to this man and it all started back in the 10th of January at WEC 46 when he had go at it with Ben Henderson. Bendo had this one in the bag, locking in one of his trademark guillotines to end the fight in the third round in what was a great battle.
In fact, let’s revisit that fight, shall we?

Not that Varner was hugely popular before this but it seems like after this fight he started more and more to resemble a man wearing a cloak of farts, with very few people admitting to being fans of his. His year would only get worse though, with one fight in particular worth getting back to…

Speaking of polarizing fighters Strikeforce champion and unapologetic badass Nick Diaz became the undisputed Welterweight champion by utterly destroying DREAM FC champion Marius Zaromskis, making me wonder what’s left for this young ass kicking machine. I mean, it’s not like there’s another seemingly unbeatable 170lbs monster sitting comfortably upon a slightly more prestigeous throne- OH WAIT I forgot!

I’m gonna go on paper and say that Diaz needs to move to the UFC and test his might there because no matter how shiny a title seems there is no gold that comes even close to being as great as the one gracing GSP’s waist at the moment. That’s a damn fact.

Hm? February 1 and Joe Warren is in Bellator? Hmm, wasn’t he that darkhorse in DREAM who ended up owning the house? Wonder if this’ll lead anywhere later this year…

UFC 109 won’t be remembered for much but the one thing that will truly stand out is the point where Mark Coleman’s career as a fighter was truly and definitively over. Having had some poor-to-meh showings in the octagon he was given a shot against Dorian Gray-as-played-by-Bruce Willis Randy Couture and it went about as well as you’d expect. Coleman got battered into a living death before being caught in a choke in what was an utterly one-sided affair, proving that Coleman sadly couldn’t contend with a man his own age. The godfather of ground and pound most likely had his last showing in mainstream MMA that night but let’s not dwell on the sad times when we can celebrate the good ones.

Mark Coleman, for turning the act of bashing someone’s face in from his chest – I salute you!

Worth noting as well was UFC 110, not only the first show in Australia but also the point where I came to realize two things: Big Nog’s chin isn’t what it used to be and Cain Velasquez is the real goddamned deal. With a combination from hell he became the first person to knock Noguiera completely unconcious and this turned out to be the first of two serious career achievments.
Guess what the other one is?

March had it’s fair share of major events, such as Dominick Cruz beating Brian Bowles for his WEC Bantamweight championship. Not only did this come kind of out of nowhere but Cruz has gone on to cement himself as one of the most dominant fighters in the division and can enjoy the status of being the first UFC Bantamweight champion now. Slick footwork, incredible speed and beautiful technique, this kid’s gonna be hard to beat. Not that people won’t try.

And finally, to round this off, Rousimar Palhares made an absolute ass of himself for the first time in 2010 by almost ripping off Thomas Drwal’s foot with a heel hook. Palhares of course defended himself with that he didn’t notice the tap… or was it that he didn’t notice the ref? In any case, considering Palhares actions against Marquardt later during the year I’m going to lable him Chaotic Neutral; there’s something about this guy and rules. If you would like to appeal this verdict on behalf of Palhares then simply put your arguments on some paper and shove it straight up your ass, because you are even sadder than me. No one argues Dungeons and Dragons on my watch.

Beware the sacrilege everybody, I’ll see you tomorrow.


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